Item: In absence of cash, bartenders will accept a “Flash” of perky young breasts as a tip. Gladly.
Item: Cabernet doesn’t mix well with gin. Nor does rum, beer, and whiskey.
Item: Cabernet also doesn’t come out of ivory silk chemise blouses.
Item: When you give your phone number out like candy, don’t be surprised when you get a shitload of unknown phone calls the next day, or voicemails such as “Hi, It’s Zeus…I met you last night. Uh, gimme a call.”
Item: If you wonder why the sun is shining when you leave the after party, check your watch. It’s probably becasue it’s 8am in the fucking morning, dumb ass.
Item: When surrounded by people who would like to have sex with you, don’t pick someone who lives with a woman he’s been romantically involved with.
Item: If you do decide to leave the after party with someone living with a woman he’s been romantically involved with, expect to have said woman screaming at you and the object of her former affection while you make out on the couch. Also expect to watch said couple bitch slapping each other as you scramble for your purse in an effort to escape their apartment. Ignore pleas from someone to “Please don’t leave me.” Then take a bus home, wearing a cabernet stained chemise, because you only have 2 dollars in your purse.
Item: Bus rides suck.
Things I didn’t learn
Who the hell was “Zeus?”