Un-American?
I’m not doing my part.
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I’m not doing my part.
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Well darlings, I’ve made my list and checked it twice, and I’ve found far more houses that were naughty than nice…Here is this year’s list of Christmust-nots!
2245 N. Sheffield is nothing more than an O’ holy nightmare! Poorly strung lights, giant illuminated teddy bears, and 5 Santas that bark carols…If this ho-ho-horror was MY only option, I would have slept in the stable, too.
Little drummer boring is all I have to say about the Anderson house on Western. A single strand of white lights around the window and a wilting wreath on the door? “Blah-Humbug!”
We go dashing throughh the “NO!” at the corner of Cornelia and Damen…This Jingle Hell left me cold with mismatched lights that barely went half way up the trees they were supposed to cover. Oh TannenBLECH! Either deck the halls to the wall or don’t bother.
These grinches have certainly confirmed that 2004 “‘Tis the season to be tacky…”
And as for the Rosenbaums in Lakeview…All I can say is you’ve turned this Festival of Lights into a HanuKAN’T!
“What do you mean, you’ve always dreamed about being a Navy Seal? I’ve always dreamed about being a Navy Seal!!!”
Two drinks later.
“Yeah, I think it’s probably a lot harder to stab someone than it looks. And I worry that I wouldn’t be able to really debilitate them with that first stab. The first stab is important.”
Three drinks, half a pack of Newport Lights.
“Hey, I don’t have bad self-esteem, I just really like cock.”
Ten songs selected on jukebox. Another pack of Newport Lights
“Well, I mean…if the homeless don’t want people dousing them with gasoline, they should stay in a shelter, right? Hey, are you done with that? Ya’ wanna get outta here? Sweet.”