A rundown of my latest work on Cracked.com

Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists
I go deep inside Xenu’s private parts and find who’s been cleansing their thetan levels on the sly.  I take no responsibility if the utter SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT makes your head explode. Currently the second most popular Cracked article on the site.  I’m coming for you, “Lessons Learned from 80′s Cartoons!”

 The Straight Scoop: 10 Stars You Won’t Believe Aren’t Gay
While other journalists are doing research, shaking down sources, and getting hard-hitting exposes on the issues that affect our lives…I decide that a bunch of people are straighter than they let on, and stretch the very limits of credulousness to prove I’m right.

From Jackie Chan to Carrie Fisher: The 10 Most Unlikely Celeb Porn Stars
I had to look at Sylvester Stallone’s cock for 20 minutes straight for this article.  If I had to suffer, so should you.  I also pissed off quite a few people who thought they were gonna see Princess Leia naked.

Celebrity Offspring we’d like to fuck.
Well, that was my original title.  Although, actually this wasn’t written by Karla Pacheco, because Karla is a woman with lady bits, and therefore a highly innappropriate choice to discuss tossing a hot hard one into some rich bitches.  Must have been written by my…cousin.  Yeah.  Good ol’ cousin Karl.

Is this thing on?

Two years since I posted anything, huh?  Sorry about that.  Nothing much has really happened in all that time.  Other than moving cross country 3 times, getting married to a pretty awesome dude, and quitting my job(s) to be a full-time housewife and part-time writer.   I assure you, I was just as surprised as anybody.  So yeah, you might notice a few less stories about my waking up naked next to random strangers after a rock show than before, but on the other hand…um.  My new stuff might not totally suck?

That said, welcome to the all new (again) Under the Wagon.  I’m still fucking around with WordPress and the layout, so there will probably be constant changes in the next couple weeks, but ever so slowly you’ll start seeing something that looks like a real website, and that’s hopefully updated on a regular basis.  For reals, this time.  In the meantime, all of the old Under The Wagon stuff is up now, so you can re-visit the glory days of my being a retarded drunken douchebag for your amusement.

Anyway, thanks for hanging in there and coming back to check it out, and a hearty welcome to any first time (presumably accidental) visitors and spambots!

Cheers,

Karla