Since my husband is the teensiest bit fond of Batman*, we’re pretty excited about The Dark Knight Rises coming out on Saturday.**
We decided to hone our appetites by re-watching the previous Nolan films, and started with Batman Begins. It’s a movie with a lot of history for us. We saw it on one of our first dates (and the six or so dates after that). We’ve watched it hundreds of times, and unlike our marriage, it never gets old. Still, even the strongest relationships occasionally crave a little…variety.
Jay: “Man, we oughta take a drink every time someone says “Fear.”"
Karla: “Ooh, and whenever somebody talks about being afraid!”
Jay & Karla: “WE ARE FUCKING GENIUSES!”
We are fucking idiots.
Somehow we survived (though the liquor shits nearly killed me this morning) and tonight we’re watching The Dark Knight. A few of my “Twitter friends” suggested we use the word “Freak” as our take-a-shot trigger, because they are all murderers and they hate us. So, if you can, please dial 9, and then 1 and then wait for me to – actually, never mind. Go ahead and dial that last 1 now. Tell the cops there’s a couple in a dark basement in Redmond, Washington about to commit suicide.
*Peter Lynn reminded me that he and Jay were once credited as the CREATORS of Batman by none other than the BBC, in a story presumably written by the laziest Google-er on the planet. But we assumed Bill Finger would probably prefer that to notorious asshole Bob Kane continuing to hog all the glory. On a related note: Jay and I booed and threw popcorn at the screen when “Batman created by Bob Kane” came on-screen last night. On an unrelated note: Does anyone know how to get butter off a plasma screen? Asking for a friend.
**I know the movie’s allegedly already been released, but we’re too old for midnight screenings, and we wanted to go to the fancy theater with fancy recliners and fancy drinks and fancy slaves who bring the drinks to the recliners during the movie. So we’re going Saturday afternoon. The Dark Knight Rises, but not before 11am.
UPDATE SO I DON’T GO TO JAIL: For god’s sake, please don’t play the Batman Begins drinking game. At the very least DO NOT play it with shots. Twitter follower @viciouspretty did, and can confirm there 23 drinks in the first 75 minutes. RIP, Christina.