Entries Tagged as 'Published Works'
Cracked in the saddle again
I go back to my most successful well - New Secret Celebrity Scientologists! There’s also a handy Scientology Star chart for those of you trying to keep track of who’s recruiting whom.
Megan Fox is hot. Dumb, but hot.
Back on Cracked
I take on the Miss California kerfluffle, a subject I found severly lacking in news coverage for the past couple of weeks.
Karla on Cracked
A rundown of my latest work on Cracked.com
Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists
I go deep inside Xenu’s private parts and find who’s been cleansing their thetan levels on the sly. I take no responsibility if the utter SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT makes your head explode. Currently the second most popular Cracked article on the site. I’m coming for you, “Lessons Learned from 80’s Cartoons!”
The Straight Scoop: 10 Stars You Won’t Believe Aren’t Gay
While other journalists are doing research, shaking down sources, and getting hard-hitting exposes on the issues that affect our lives…I decide that a bunch of people are straighter than they let on, and stretch the very limits of credulousness to prove I’m right.
From Jackie Chan to Carrie Fisher: The 10 Most Unlikely Celeb Porn Stars
I had to look at Sylvester Stallone’s cock for 20 minutes straight for this article. If I had to suffer, so should you. I also pissed off quite a few people who thought they were gonna see Princess Leia naked.
Celebrity Offspring we’d like to fuck.
Well, that was my original title. Although, actually this wasn’t written by Karla Pacheco, because Karla is a woman with lady bits, and therefore a highly innappropriate choice to discuss tossing a hot hard one into some rich bitches. Must have been written by my…cousin. Yeah. Good ol’ cousin Karl.
I stepped in internet fame again…
I have a brand spankin’ new article is up at The National Lampoon.
I swear, I can practically smell the sweaty stench of internet success just around the corner. Any day now I’ll be snorting cybercoke off jpgs of hookers, I just know it!
Anyway, check it out HERE. It’s another filthy piece of work, all about blow jobs.
My mom’s gonna be so proud.
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In other news, provided I don’t keep jetting off to LA to make sweet, sweet love to The Delicious One…Under The Wagon will now be updated every Friday, if not more often. Honest!
You have the word of a lazy, unreliable alcoholic. Really, what could possibly be more trustworthy than that?
Fuck YEAH!
My being a total retard for Under The Wagon a year ago resulted in an me having an article in The National Lampoon.
This the the coolest shit ever!
Bring on the coke and hookers!
So I’m famous now, right?