More like DICKstarter!

Dear Ms. Pacheco,

We regret to inform you we must reject your proposed Kickstarter Project [$635.56 For A Personalized Satin Jacket Like the Nice Chest Guy had in Drive] We do not currently have a [Jay’s being a little bitch and won’t buy it for me] category.

Acceptable project categories are Art, Comics, Dance, Design, Fashion, Film, Food, Games, Music, Photography, Publishing, Technology, and Theater. However, we realize guidelines are never perfect, and we care deeply about trying to get them right. If you think [Jay’s being a little bitch and won’t buy it for me] is a category we should reconsider, please fill out the attached appeal form. Kickstarter relies on voices like yours to help us protect the health and creative spirit of Kickstarter for the long term.

Thanks for reading!
The Kickstarter Team

Ahahaha no, I got it..more like DICKFARTER!

Dear Ms. Pacheco,

We’re glad you took the time to fill out our appeal form so thoroughly. While changing your category submission to “Fashion, I guess” is certainly a step in the right direction, the Kickstarter team had several concerns:

  • Instead of a promotional video, you submitted the movie “Drive” in its entirety. This violates both our copyrighted materials restrictions, and our suggested video length.
  • Your $200 Reward Tier: “I will look at a list of names while wearing my new jacket and maybe your name is on that list, who knows?” does not technically violate our guidelines, but it should be more specific. At the very least, you should mention how long you will be looking at the list, and how many names will be on it.
  • The $1271.12 Push Goal “I will buy a second jacket, probably blue” is unclear. It didn’t appear that any of the reward tiers included a jacket for backers, despite your extremely graphic two-page description of “crazy loco scorpion” embroidery.

Finally, Kickstarter is a crowdfunding source to help YOU CREATE the ARTISTIC VISION of YOUR DREAMS. We do not allow funding for third party sources such as “Spencer’s Gifts” or “Maybe my cousin Vanessa, though she kind of fucked up my prom dress.”

Have you tried visiting our “Kickstarter School?” It’s packed with tips and tricks to define your Kickstarter Project. We also recommend looking at some of our top Kickstarters to see what makes a project a success!

Best of Luck!
The Kickstarter Team


Dear Ms. Pacheco

We have reviewed your Kickstarter proposal “Cures Tit Cancer or Something” and we find it highly unlikely the cure for breast cancer “was apparently in my basement the whole time and I forgot about it,” or that it will cost you only “$635.56 to mail it out to all the cancer titties.”