Karla’s Guide to Auto-erotic Asphyxiation
Posted on June 5th, 2009 by Karla Pacheco
Home of adorable, famous child destroyed
Posted on May 14th, 2009 by Karla Pacheco
Millions of less famous children still okay to live in squalor.
MUMBAI- Azharuddin Ismail, 9, played the character of Salim as a child in the film Slumdog Millionaire, a rags-to-riches romance about a poor Indian boy competing for love and money on a television game show. People who don’t understand how movie contracts work have been outraged that the movie was fiction, and not a documentary about how cute kids should arbitrarily get 10% off the back end of popular movies.
Ismail’s home, along with many insignificant others, was destroyed by ignorant, heartless officials who didn’t realise a famous, adorable child lived in the illegal shanty covering a storm drain. Their concerns for preventing massive flooding and cholera outbreaks ahead of monsoon season were widely denounced by an outraged public that was really upset about this one, single shanty getting destroyed.
Sorry kid, learn how to sing and then we’ll talk! And would it kill you to smile?
Trust funds and homes have been provided for the child stars of Slumdog Millionaire but have yet to be utilized. Presumably because a happy famous child living in a decent apartment makes for a really shitty news story.
I didn’t know D-O-U-C-H-E was spelled T-E-A
Posted on April 16th, 2009 by Karla Pacheco
So all these “Tea Baggers” (they called themselves that first, and I am certainly not one to disagree) have pissed me off so much I can hardly speak. For that at least, I’m sure Jay is grateful. I’d link to some of their incredible, corporate sponsored idiocy, but my blood pressure can’t take any more of their ignorant shit today.
I’d just like to say:
Technically, the only people entitled to “tea-bag” are folks like my lovely Canadian husband. He supports my lazy American ass, pays my medical bills, and contributes a ridiculous amount of tax dollars to the government…and yet HE doesn’t get to vote on how those dollars are spent, or elect people he trusts to spend them. My husband is truly taxed without representation, and is completely and unfairly disenfranchised.
The teabaggers aren’t disenfranchised. They’re just fuckers who lost (the election, their minds) and can’t fucking deal with it.
Considering the only thing teabaggers hate more than their Bush era mandated taxes are filthy immigrants, I can’t begin to imagine how conflicted they must feel about my white immigrant husband stealing “our” jobs so he can support this “chocolate-face” American. But I can certainly imagine where I’ll shove their stupid, bought-n-paid-for-sales-tax-and-all tea bags if I ever get the chance.
Whew.
Posted on November 5th, 2008 by Karla Pacheco
Yep. I cried. The good kind of tears.
And I’ve never wanted to be back in Chicago as much as I did tonight.
He’s got a shit year, or two, or four ahead of him. If he can’t wave a wand and make it all better, they’ll ravage him in 2012. Possibly those who love him most right now are the ones who will feel most betrayed if he hasn’t fixed everything by January 21st.
He’s not a magic bullet. He’s not going to save us all or anything. But today he made me proud of my country. He made me care enough to be part of the process for the first time.
Today, at age 31, I voted for the first time in my life.
I’m still crying a little bit.
The good kind of tears.
Happy Halloween, Muthafuckers.
Posted on October 31st, 2008 by Karla Pacheco
Or should I say, HOWL-O-WEEN???
No. No I should not.
I did this to the little bastards last year. And yes:
A) I promised Jay I would only do it once.
B) I only did it because Edison was the perfect size to pull this off (he’s the same size as Orwell now) and it was too good an opportunity to miss. And
C) Yes, that IS an actual and official “Bat-Belt” that I cut down to size for Orwell, not that you can really tell in the pictures.
This is what it’s come to, internet…Gone are the days of blogging wine and roses (or at least cheap beer and humping and updating regularly). I am now a blogger who posts pictures of her dogs wearing fucking clothes.
If this video game doesn’t come out soon, I’m gonna lose every scrap of comedy cred I ever had. Granted, my comedy cred was never more than scraps to begin with, so at least I’ve got that going for me.
Anyway, Happy Devil Day. Have a fun size Snickers bar for me, and don’t forget to vote on Tuesday. For Obama. Thanks.
It was either this, or do that job I was just bragging about loving.
Posted on September 12th, 2008 by Karla Pacheco
I spent most of my day (poorly) photoshopping stuff like this:
I was inspired by this story in the New York Times (via The Stranger)
Long ago, I would hop on Cafepress at the drop of a badly manufactured trucker hat. Anytime I had an idea I thought would be funnier if I could show it on a t-shirt, or a baby bib, or whatever, I’d just toss together a quick graphic and upload it onto my favorite piece of shoddy merchandise. It wasn’t that I was trying to get people to buy it, it was usually just part of the joke (e.g., beer steins with a Star of David on them and the phrase “You can’t spell “Hebrew” without “Brew”)
It goes without saying I was spending most of my time on internet forums back then.
Anyway, if you want to get in on all the hot, hot, print-on-demand action that is Cafepress…or if you just feel weirded out that the Republicans keep trotting out an 18 year old drop-out as a paragon of the New American Family Doing The Right Thing…check it out, yo.